Definition
by DeliciousLies
Summary: "Love isn't real. I know that. So why does Matthias Kohler make me want to believe it is?" Kristin Bondevik has been through a lot. She doesn't need anyone. She's fine by herself. So why does the annoying man in the apartment below her keep coming to her mind? DenNor (Fem!Norway), SuFin (Fem!Finland), light FrUk (in later chapters). Story includes Fem!Iceland
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! A few words from the author real quick! First off, yes, I ****_did_**** make Norway, Iceland, and Finland girls. Not because I have anything against normal yaoi pairings because I don't. I just thought that having them as girls would make the story better. Sorry. **

**Now for their names as girls. I know there are pretty much no official Nyotalia names for the three of them so… **

**Kristin – Norway. I saw someone else use this as Fem!Norway's name in a fic and I really liked it, so Kristin it is.**

**Emily – Iceland. I use Emil for normal Iceland… So Emily just seemed like an easy option.**

**Tina – Finland. Tino… Tina… Do I really need to explain? **

**Jeremy is not a Hetalia character. He is someone I made up to be a jerk to Kristin. **

**This fanfiction takes place in my home country… THE GOOD OLE U.S. OF A! GO AMERICA. As I know nothing of other countries, pretty much everything that happens in this story goes along with American culture. **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia… Do I own it? Sadly, no… No I do not. See that? I DO NOT OWN HETALIA.**

_Chapter One:_

_Jeremy stumbled into my apartment without knocking, drunk off his ass. He walked up to me and grabbed me by my arm and started leading me toward my bedroom. "Come on, Kristy," he slurred. I hated that nickname. "We're gonna have some fun," he said in an attempt to be sensual, his toxic breath washing over me. He wanted to screw. That much was obvious. _

_ I looked back to see my little sister, Emily, looking at me with violet eyes peeking out from behind hair so blonde it was almost white. She had been doing her homework while I was making dinner. It was only seven o'clock._

_ I yanked my arm out of Jeremy's grasp. "No," I told him. I saw the angry look in his eye and scrambled to cover what I just said. "Baby," I said, touching his arm, praying he would calm down. "We can't." I angled my head towards my sister. "Emily's here." _

_ Somehow that got through his drunken head. "Emily," he said, slowly searching the room until his eyes landed on my fifteen year old sister. "You need to leave." _

_ Emily looked between the two of us slowly, suspiciously. "What's going on here?" _

_ If there had been anything that was the wrong thing to say – it was that. "Emily," Jeremy said through gritted teeth as he turned to her slowly. "Did I not just tell you to fucking leave?" She didn't answer. She only stared at him with a cool defiant stare. God, she was too much like me sometimes. He marched up to her and slapped her._

_ He had never hit her before._

_ "Get the hell out of here, bitch!" he yelled at her. Emily looked up, eyes wide. She had never ever seen Jeremy like this. She had never seen Jeremy drunk. I had been trying to keep it that way. _

_ That was my breaking point. I had been Jeremy's bitch for two years now. I had catered to every whim and want he had. Hell, I had even been his punching bag a couple times. But the thing was, he had never hurt Emily before. And I'd be damned if someone was going to hurt my little sister and get away with it. _

_ "Step the hell away from my little sister," I growled. He turned to me and looked like he was going to say something or hit me. He didn't get the chance. I reared back and punched him square across the jaw. A delicious crack was heard. He even fell to the ground. While he was done I looked up. "Run," is all I told my sister. She sprinted out the door to go to our neighbors' apartment. _

_ Jeremy got up off the floor and spit some blood onto the carpeted floor of my apartment living room. "You like it rough, huh?" he said, advancing towards me. "Trust me, Kristin," he said, grabbing my shoulders tightly. "I can be rough." _

_ By the time police arrived Jeremy was done. He was passed out naked on top of me. The apartment stank of sweat and burnt meat from where I had been cooking. The police pulled the unconscious man off of me and I pulled my t-shirt down to cover the parts of myself that were exposed after the man who said he loved me had raped me. "Miss Bondevik, are you alright?" a police man had asked me, looking down at me. _

_ I nodded, slowly. "Miss Bondevik, your sister is out in the hallway… We'd like for both of you to come with us and answer some questions." _

_ I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed a pair of sweatpants that I normally never wore in public. I walked out into the hallway to see Emily standing there with her arms crossed in front of our neighbors, Ludwig Beilshmidt and his boyfriend Feliciano Vargas. She must have gone to them. _

_ I walked up to her, my face more emotionless than it had ever been. "Are you alright, Emily?" I whispered to the teenager. She nodded. I quickly reached out and pulled her into a hug. For once she didn't complain that she was too old for this. _

_ We went to the police station and walked inside. Sitting down, handcuffed to a chair was Jeremy. "I'll kill you, Bondevik!" he yelled. "And your sister! You can watch while she dies!" _

I gasped as I woke up. I hated thinking about that night. So, I didn't think about it. But it seemed to be all my subconscious could focus on as I was bombarded night after night with the horrid memory turned nightmare.

I sat up in my bed and looked at the clock on my bedside table. 6:00 am. Perfect. I got up and went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I couldn't live without coffee. I waited for my coffee to finish brewing before adding sugar and cream. I took a sip and enjoyed the morning.

Usually, Emily would be awake by now so she could be ready for school. However, today was a Saturday and my little sister chose to sleep in on this day. Usually, if I was home, I'd make her get up at around ten, but I had to work today from eight until two. So Emily may still be asleep by the time I get back.

I looked around the apartment. We had moved after _that night. _I wasn't going to at first because we had lived there for five years. However, I kept waking up with nightmares and so did Emily. So finally my little sister came up to me and practically demanded we move.

We ended up choosing an apartment complex just half an hour from where we used to live. My friend and coworker Tina lived there with her husband, Berwald. It was nice to have two familiar faces.

I walked out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly so as not to wake Emily. I walked down the stairs to the bottom floor and stood on the wall next to the Oxenstiernas' apartment so I could wait for my friend and we could go to work together.

"Good morning, Kristin," I heard the annoying voice of Mathias Kohler, the man in the apartment beneath me, say. "I must say, you're looking pretty hot this morning."

I doubted it. I was dressed in the yellow blouse and blue skirt that was the uniform of the café I worked in. My hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and I had hardly cared about my makeup while I applied it. The only thing even remotely interesting about my outfit was that I refused to take the cross clip out of my hair. Regardless of what our uniform was supposed to be. Emily had given it to me our first Christmas that was just us. I always wore it.

I turned to look at him as he leaned against the wall lazily. "Don't make me come over there and punch you, Kohler. It's too early, and I've only had one cup of coffee," I replied in the monotone voice that I had adopted in the past six months. Not that I had been extremely emotional before, because I hadn't, I was just even less emotional now.

"Don't be so cold, Krist," Mathias said. _Krist_. Krist was so much better of a nickname than Kristy and I hated to admit that I actually liked it. "I'm just trying to compliment you."

I scowled. _He's just trying to get in your pants, Kristin, _I told myself. _It's all guys like him ever want. _And if I hadn't learned that lesson the hard way. I cringed.

I saw Mathias tilt his head, slightly concerned. He had just opened his mouth to speak when the door to Tina and Berwald's apartment opened. "Good morning, Kristin!" Tina said with a big smile that seemed permanently plastered to her face. She leaned over to hug me. She pulled back and saw who was behind me. "Oh," she said. "Good morning, Mathias."

Mathias smiled and waved. "Morning, Tina." He looked up and saw Berwald in the doorway. Berwald didn't have to work today. He worked at IKEA and had Friday and Saturday as his off days. Mathais scowled. "Berwald." For whatever reason, Mathias and Berwald didn't get along. There was some bad blood between them that no one seemed to really understand.

Tina looked between the two before saying, "Play nice, boys." Mathias cocked an eyebrow to the taller man and they stared at each other for a moment before Mathias turned on his heel and went back into his apartment.

Berwald looked down at his wife. "Have a nice day," he said, in his strange Swedish dialect that was hard to discern if you didn't know him well.

Tina smiled and went up on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you," she said with a smile. Then she turned to me. "Alright, Kristin, let's go."

Together, the two of us walked out to Tina's small blue Honda. I climbed into the passenger seat as she cranked the car. She was backing out of the driveway when she started to talk to me. "You know," she said, looking in her rearview mirror as she pulled onto the main road. "Mathias is actually a really great guy."

"_Tina,_" I said, trying to get the point across to her that she needed to stop. Now. I wasn't about to start dating again and when I did it definitely wasn't going to be with the likes of Mathias Kohler.

"Sorry, sorry," she said, realizing she had ventured into unwelcoming terrain. We were fairly quiet for the rest of the car ride.

Tina parked in front of the little café where we worked. It was a little French restaurant that was gaining popularity. It was owned by a Frenchman named Francis Bonnefoy. Francis was a nice man and was especially kind to me after my ordeal with Jeremy. He gave me two weeks off and didn't get angry with me the one time I broke down on the customers. All he did was take over my tables and had Elizabeta (another woman who works with us) take over Tina's tables so Tina could talk to me while I calmed down.

Tina and I walked up to the not yet open café and walked inside. "Bon jour, Kristin, Tina!" a voice greeted us. Francis was currently sitting at one of the tables across from his seven year old son Matthew who was currently trying very hard to draw a polar bear. "Mathieu will be with us today."

The little boy looked up and waved shyly, muttering something along the lines of "Good morning," before turning back to his drawing. Matthew stayed at the restaurant with his father on Saturdays, Sundays, and afterschool whenever Francis was working.

An hour later, at nine, our little shop opened for business. We wouldn't get many customers until lunchtime however. And today was no exception. Francis, Tina, Elizabeta, and I waited on tables until our shifts ended. At that time Elizabeta's husband Roderich came and picked her up. Roderich was a music teacher at a local high school and therefore didn't work on Saturdays. Francis would always leave the restaurant in the hands of his manager and one of his best friends, Antonio Carriedo, whenever he was gone. And Francis would always leave after two on Saturdays.

Tina and I climbed back into her small car and went back to our apartment building. I smiled when I saw Berwald hug Tina and give her a kiss when she got home. If there were any two people that could make me believe love actually existed – it was those two.

I was at the top of the stairs when I saw Matthias leave his apartment. Matthias was a bar tender and probably had to be at work around four. _Matthias is actually a really great guy. _Tina's words replayed themselves in my memory.

I shook my head to rid me of those thoughts. Matthias Kohler and I were simply not compatible. Not to mention that I was by no means looking for love. Love leads to hurt and betrayal and in my opinion I had enough hurt and betrayal for one lifetime.

As Matthias was leaving he saw me looking at him. He flashed a dazzling half-smile, and then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Whoo! New chapter! So I feel like it's time for another author's note! ****_In chapter two?!_**** Yes, in chapter two. Okay this chapter is kind of short and really not the best. It's mostly just filler with a slight hint of fluff. It also introduces Hong Kong! But not really…**

**Okay, so Hong Kong's human name in this story is Leon because I saw that listed as one of his possible names and honestly it seemed like the easiest to remember.**

**Also, expect poor Kristin to get stuck in other inescapable situations with Mathias in the near future. Unless I decide to cut that chapter. MWA HA HA HA.**

**Oh, also, I realized I switched the way I spelled Mathias about halfway through the last chapter. Well, I'm only going to use one t if anyone cares. ****_Mathias._**

**Disclaimer: Hold on… One sec… Nooope… Still don't own Hetalia. **

_Chapter Two: _

I arrived in my apartment to see that Emily was awake and was on XBOX Live, playing some shooter game with a friend of hers from school. I didn't know much about him except that he was from Hong Kong and had moved here when he was six.

"_LEON!" _Emily yelled into the headset. Leon. That's right! That was his name. "I thought we had an alliance!" I couldn't hear what his response was. But I did see Emily's expression darken. "I will kill you."

"I'm home, Em," I told her, setting my small purse down on our kitchen table. She waved a lazy hello at me. I chuckled and moved down the hall to my bedroom. I remember high school. Feeling like you were on top of the world and nothing got better than being in love with a boy. Because I'm almost positive my sister is as in love as a teenager can be with Leon. She may never admit it, and her pride may never allow her to show it, but I know my sister better than anyone. She likes this kid a lot.

In a way, I was jealous. I missed cute, innocent love. I missed love in general. It had never been love with Jeremy. All he ever wanted to do was fuck, and he always got me to do it by saying, "But, Kristy, baby… Don't you love me?"

And I had loved him, so I gave into all of his demands. I had met him at a low point in my life, and was just ecstatic that anyone wanted to be with me. At first, Jeremy was a glorious high that I rode out through my depression. The higher you are, the harder you fall. And did I fall a long way.

And if anything, that in itself proved love didn't exist. Love is what people tell themselves as a way to get over the aching hollowness they feel when they are dissatisfied with themselves. They say they need another person to complete them. However, true human nature is much darker than that. People use one another and hurt one another without a second thought. We say we love people so that they stay around to help us fill the hollow void that consumes us because we can't get over it ourselves. In reality, there is no such thing as 'love.'

I scowled and shook my head. I didn't want to think about Jeremy, and those thoughts would undoubtedly circle back to him.

My sister and I had a quiet evening at home. I cooked, and then we ate. Emily continued to talk to Leon over XBOX Live. Then finally we both deemed it late enough to go to sleep.

But I couldn't go to sleep. I lay awake and stared at my ceiling with conflicting thoughts of Mathias playing their way through my head. I didn't care for Mathias. I didn't even _like_ Mathias. He was cocky, arrogant, and as annoying as hell.

But his eyes were amazing. And he had a certain personality that – No. No I was not going to start thinking about this. Just because Mathias had some interesting traits didn't mean that I cared for him.

I didn't think about Mathias Kohler again until Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday was one of my two days off. It was four in the afternoon and Emily was with Leon at the mall. I was alone in my apartment reading a book, thankful for the peace and quiet when I heard a worrying _crack _resound from across the room.

I set my book down, careful to place my book mark between the crisp pages. I walked over to the television stand to see that the crack was in the cheap wood along the backside of the stand. My eyes widened. If it cracked more, everything might fall. I quickly unplugged the television but realized it was too heavy for me to move.

I decided I would go get Berwald. He worked at IKEA for crying out loud. He could help me move a television and probably suggest some complicated-to-build television stand to replace this one. Then maybe afterwards Tina would stick around and discuss what color would look good in my living room.

That dream was quickly shattered though. I knocked on their door. No answer. I looked down the outdoor hallway to the parking lot to see that Berwald's car was gone. I knocked again. Still no answer. Tina must have gone with him.

I groaned. Now I was going to have to buy a new television stand and undoubtedly a new television. In my moment of frustration I hadn't noticed that a nearby door had opened. "Kristin?" Mathias asked. "Are you alright?"

I turned to him and subconsciously decided he was the perfect target to take my anger out on. "I'm fine, idiot!" I yelled at the man. Part of me said it was wrong to take out my anger on this man who did nothing to break my television stand. However, a larger part of me was enjoying this way too much.

Mathias raised his hands up in a surrender type motion. "Are you sure? You don't seem fine." He seemed to notice where I was. "You looking for Tina?"

"Berwald, actually," I hissed. "I'm having problems with some furniture."

Mathias raised an eyebrow. "I could help."

At first I was going to refuse. And snort. But then I realized I couldn't afford to buy a new television right now. Especially not when you considered I'd have to pay for Emily to go to college in just two years.

I breathed out heavily through my nose and nodded. I walked up to my apartment and opened the door, allowing the man entry. I pointed at my television. "Help me move that."

He gave me a brief confused look before flashing that dazzling, terrible grin of his. He walked over to my television, lifted it, and placed it on my couch. I watched this. "I said help me, idiot." I rolled my eyes. Men.

He just shrugged. "Are you not going to thank me, Krist?" Always so cocky. How could any human being be so arrogant?

"No," I said, simply. "Get out."

He sat down. "I can wait." He couldn't be serious could he?

I looked him up and down. He might be stubborn, but I could out-stubborn that man any day. He was impatient whereas I could wait for hours. I sat down on the other side of the couch, the television separating us. "I don't think you can."

He looked at me and smirked. "Wednesday is my day off," he said. "I have all night."

I glared. What were the odds? How could it possibly be that this would happen to me now? I just raised an eyebrow and leaned back. We would just have to see whose resolve held longer.

I tried to read my book to distract myself but Mathias kept making strange noises like a bored child might. I sighed heavily, placed my book down, and turned to the man child on my left. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug before going back to making noises.

I practically growled as I turned toward him. I should've just let my television get ruined. "Don't you have places to go? People to sleep with?"

He smirked. "Not unless you're offering." I let out a disgusted sound before turning away from him. He really was an ass.

Emily arrived home an hour later, shocked to see Mathias on our couch, and him and me still sitting in our spots like naughty children who had been put in time-out. Honestly, I was shocked too. I had expected him to have already left by now on his way to get shitfaced drunk and have a one night stand with a redhead whose name he wouldn't remember in the morning. And yet here he still sat.

Emily looked at the two of us. "Kristin, I'm ordering pizza," she said, picking up the phone and putting in the number of a small pizza place owned by our old neighbor Feliciano. He owned a pizza place with his older brother. He was nice (his brother, not so much) and always gave us a discount and extra toppings. I just nodded my consent.

Mathias spent the next thirty minutes staring at me while I refused to meet his gaze. I heard a knock on my door and opened it to see Feliciano. "Kristin!" he cried, reaching out and hugging me. He was an emotional man. "I've missed you so much! You should come visit Ludwig and I sometime! You can see my brother, Lovino, again. He moved in with his new boyfriend Antonio and Antonio lives in our building. I think you work with Antonio actually," he continued to yammer on and on and for the most part I droned him out, only offering small smiles every once in a while.

Emily came over and took the pizza box from the Italian. He stopped talking to me and said hello to her before turning to me again. Then he saw Mathias. "Who's this?" he asked, and then turned to me. He smiled. "A new boyfriend?" he asked. He wasn't teasing. He was just an innocent person overall.

Mathias grinned at me. "No," I said, turning back to Feliciano. "He's just an annoyance."

Feliciano looked between the two of us and smiled a little. "That's what Ludwig used to say about me," he whispered so only I could hear before giving me another hug and leaving.

I grabbed two slices of pizza from the box and took my seat on the couch. I looked over to see Mathias giving me puppy dog eyes. I rolled my eyes. Seriously? He was a grown man. I peeked over at him to see he had given up. He was now staring out my balcony door.

I sighed and held my hand out to him, a piece of pizza extended towards him. "Take it," I said, not looking at him. I was fairly sure I was blushing, if only a little. "Before I change my mind."

Mathias took the piece and ate it silently. Huh, he was actually capable of silence. I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Are you not going to thank me, Mat?" I asked, teasingly.

He looked at me. "Thank you," he said. Then he tilted his head. "See, Krist? It's not hard."

I sighed. "Thank you for moving my TV, Mathias," I said with a slight strain in my voice.

He stood up and spread his arms. "See? Easy." He headed towards the door. "As promised," he stepped towards the door. "I will be leaving. Good evening, Miss Bondevik," he said. "Miss Steillson," he said turning to Emily. Then he gave a little bow and left.

"Thank God he's gone," I said, slumping back against the couch. I picked up the book and attempted to read but the television next to me kept distracting me. Because it was the television, not thoughts of Mathias.

Emily laughed a little to herself and at first I thought she was laughing at me, but I turned to see her smiling down at her phone. Someone had gotten Emily to laugh. Emily who, much like me, always hid her emotions between impenetrable walls.

I smiled a little. She looked up and saw me looking at her. "It's Leon," she said, gesturing to her phone with a smile. She texted him back, looking genuinely happy.

I was happy my little sister had found someone who made her happy. I should probably have a talk with Leon though; make him aware that if he hurt Emily there would be hell to pay. But for now he was only making her laugh and I was more than okay with that.

I had felt bad at first about the move here. One of the reasons had been because Emily had had to change schools, but apparently it was for the best. If we had never moved here, she never would've met this boy who got my little sister to open up better than any of the therapists she had seen right after the accident. For that reason alone, I was very thankful for Leon.

At least someone was able to get through to one of us.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so terrible! I'm sorry that I'm so late and I have failed you all! *Goes to Tamaki corner to cry* But really, I am sorry. It's just that this was a hard week. And also I got distracted writing a fic with America and Scotland, N. Ireland, Wales, and England. Also because of The Walking Dead season 4 premiere. However, I will try my hardest to get the next chapter up when it's supposed to be. **

** I'm also sorry that this chapter is practically ALL dialogue and shorter than my other chapters. And I'm sorry that I can't write Iceland to save my life. UGH.**

** Enjoy the new chapter. **

I woke to the sound of screaming. Horrid, sobbing screams that were coming from Emily's room. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she got nightmares too. I threw the sheets off of my legs and got out of my bed.

I walked down the hall and to her room. I opened the door to see her thrashing around with tears running down her face. I walked over to her and sat down beside of her. "Emily," I said, shaking her. "Emily, wake up."

She gasped as she opened her eyes. She looked around the room frantically for a moment before she saw me. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to compose herself. "Mom and Dad?" I asked, questioning what her nightmare had been about. She nodded. I patted her hand as a gesture that I was here for her.

Then I heard a knock on the door. I sighed and got up, walking to our door. It was three in damn morning. Why were people at my door? I opened it to see Tina in a robe, Berwald in pajama pants and a tshirt, and Mathias looking like he'd just gotten home from work.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing one of them said. It was Mathias. "Someone was screaming like they died up here."

I sighed and nodded, rubbing my temple. It was much too early to hear Mathias's voice. "Emily had a nightmare is all."

"That must have been some nightmare," Tina said, looking at me. "She woke us up… We thought someone had broken in." Or that Jeremy was somehow up here, with us. She didn't say it, but she didn't have to. Tina and Berwald knew about what happened to me. Tina was my best friend so it only made sense for her to know, and she was married to Berwald so that made sense too. I was glad she didn't say it out loud though because Mathias _didn't_ know and I wanted to keep it that way.

"No," I said, shaking my head and pushing a strand of light blonde behind my ear. I had caught a glimpse of my skimpy pajamas while doing that and suddenly wished I slept in more than short shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. Especially with Mathias standing right there. "She was dreaming about what happened to our parents."

"Oh," Tina said, looking down sadly.

"What?" Mathias asked, looking between the two of us. "What happened to your parents?" Have I ever mentioned that Mathias is insensitive? It's not like this is new or anything but my sister just woke up screaming about it.

I gave him a hard look before answering. "My parents died six years ago in a car accident. Emily was in the car with them. She survived, they didn't."

"I'm sorry," Mathias said, sounding genuine.

I heard a shuffling behind me and looked up to see Emily walking out of her room. She had pulled on a baggy sweatshirt and put her hair into a ponytail. She stopped walking when she saw all the people in the doorway and she blushed furiously.

"Hi, Emily," Tina and Mathias said at the same time. The difference was that Tina said it sympathetically and Mathias pretty much yelled it. My head throbbed. Much, _much_ too early for Mathias's voice.

"Hi," Emily said quietly, embarrassed as she sat down at the kitchen table. I knew what she wanted. I also knew she wouldn't ask with everyone else standing here.

I looked at the others and tried to communicate they needed to leave through my expression. Surprisingly enough, Berwald was the one who caught on. "Come on, Tina," he whispered to his wife. "Goodnight, Kristin," he said to me.

"I guess I should go too," Mathias said although the look he was giving me was making me think he wanted me to stop him. He was about to be sorely disappointed.

"Good night," I said and shut the door in his face.

I turned around to see Emily sitting at the table. "Hot chocolate?" I asked. She nodded. Now that I looked at her I could see that she was holding her stuffed puffin. She had gotten it when she was little and was strongly attached to it.

I walked over to the kitchenette and started making it. I heard her stand up and walk into the living room, and then I heard the television flick on from its temporary spot on the floor. From the sounds of it, Emily had put the television on some music channel.

I took the mug of hot chocolate over to her and sat down on the couch next to her with my own. This had become tradition whenever Emily had nightmares. We had first started this when she was ten and used to have nightmares all the time, and it just stuck.

She took the mug and blew across the steaming liquid before taking a sip. I watched her for a minute before speaking up. "You okay?"

She nodded.

I nodded in response and turned my attention to the music video on screen. "Kristin," I heard her say from beside of me. "Do you think things would be really different if Mom and Dad were still here?"

My brow furrowed. That was a question I hadn't heard in a long time. She used to ask it quite a bit but after a while had stopped.

I shrugged. "I guess. We wouldn't be living here. You wouldn't know Leon," I said. Then I looked over at her. "I don't think you and me would talk as much," I said, which was kind of my way of saying 'Good things can come from bad things.' We wouldn't talk as much if they were still alive. If they were alive, Emily would be living with them. I would've gone to a college that was a couple hours away, and then who knows where I would've moved.

She shrugged. "I guess we wouldn't." She looked up with me. "You know maybe I would still know Leon."

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you believe if it's 'destined to happen,'" I said putting air quotes around the words. "It's going to happen no matter what."

Emily seemed almost offended. "I dunno, maybe." She sighs. "You know, Rist," she said, using a nickname for me that only she used. When she was little she had had trouble saying 'Kristin' and it had always ended up 'Ristin' or 'Tristin' and so our parents had just started calling me 'Rist' as a way for her to say my name. "Maybe everything happens for a reason."

She was so naïve. She wanted to be treated like an adult and yet here she was saying things like that. I guess in a way that just proved she still held an innocence about her that I hadn't possessed for a long time.

"You believe that we went through all the shit we've been through for some _higher purpose?_" I asked her incredulously.

I was finding it hard to believe that she thought this way. Our parents died in a horrible car accident, and Emily was in the car. I had spent two years in a bad relationship that ended in rape. She thought all of this happened for some damn reason? See I knew there was no reason. You have to play the hand you're dealt and Emily and I were given a really fucked up hand. That's all there is to it.

"Maybe," she answered. "You said it yourself, I never would've met Leon." Then she looked up at me. "You never would've met Mathias."

I laughed. "I never would've met Mathias," I repeat with a smile.

Emily breathed out heavily through her nose, the way you do when you're laughing at something that is kind of funny but not so funny that you actually laugh out loud. "You act like meeting Mathias was a bad thing."

I looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. Was she serious? "Have you met the man?" I asked her. "It's a bad thing."

She looked at me and chewed on her lip for a moment like she was debating saying something to me. She took another sip of her drink and seemed to decide then. "I don't think he bothers you as much as you pretend he does."

I looked at her with my mouth open. What was she talking about? Did I give off the impression that I liked Mathias in any way, shape, or form? Because if I did I needed to change whatever I was doing that was giving off that impression.

Mathias was a nuisance. I didn't like him. I sure as hell didn't think about him much. He bothered me so _occasionally_ he was known to cross my mind but it's not like it was a normal occurrence. I was so distracted with thinking about how I didn't think about Mathias that I almost missed what Emily said.

"Could you repeat that?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

She looked at me with this sly grin on her face that I was unaccustomed to seeing there. "I think you two would be cute together." I looked at her in surprise. Was this my sister? I had never imagined that Emily would say anything like that. Or think that Mathias and I would make a good couple.

"I think you push him away because you're afraid he'll hurt you," she said, matter-of-factly. Who did she think she was? What was making her think tonight would be a good night to tell me all this? I guess I was glaring because she said, "Don't give me that look, Kristin. I've known you my whole life and we both know what I just said is true."

"You don't know anything," I said, turning to look out the window.

"I know you exhibit more emotion around Mathias Kohler than anyone else," she said, standing up. I watched as she walked over to the sink and placed her mug down. She walked towards her bedroom. She paused in her doorway. "I think you'd be good for each other," she said before shutting her door and returning to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I have brought another chapter down from the heavens. Please enjoy it. **

** Also, yes I know that most of the time Alfred is older than Matthew. However, for story purposes I want them both seven. Canada Day is July 1****st**** (that's my birthday too!) and Independence Day is July 4****th****. Therefore, in this story, Matthew is three days older. **

** Technically, I am late in posting as it is 12:33 am on a Saturday but I think its close enough.**

** Disclaimer: HETALIA IS NOT MINE. Neither are half the other things I love. **

The next day was a Thursday. I had to go to work from 2:00 until 7:00 when we closed. Tina had this shift as well, thankfully. Don't get me wrong, Elizabeta and my other coworkers are nice; I just don't ever see us being friends.

I pulled up to the restaurant in my car, having to drive myself today. I arrived around the same time as Antonio. "Hola, Kristin!" the Spaniard called as he was walking in the door. I went to the back and put my bag down.

I looked up when I felt someone nudge me. It was Kiku, a Japanese man who worked at the restaurant when Elizabeta wasn't. I looked up and saw him nodding towards Francis. Looking out I saw that Francis was sitting at one of the tables across from a bushy-eyebrowed blonde.

Elizabeta, who was leaving, saw us watching and approached us. "His name is Arthur Kirkland," she supplied. "He has a son named Alfred who is just three days younger than Matthew." She smirked. "Francis has been flirting his ass off." She then walked over to pick up her purse. "I think they're cute together," she added with a shrug before walking off.

I rolled my eyes. Elizabeta loved that stuff, and I'm pretty sure Kiku did too. I never really saw the point in involving myself in others' relationships, not even when it was just watching from afar as Elizabeta loved to do.

I saw Tina walk in and was about to go talk to her about buying a new television stand when Antonio came to the back and looked in. "Kristin," he said, smiling. "You have a customer at table eleven."

I sighed and walked out, grabbing my notepad and a pen as I did so. I walked into the dining room to see a familiar looking man sitting at table eleven. _No, no, no_, I thought. _Not here_.

"Krist?" Mathias asked upon seeing me. "I didn't know you worked here."

"Well, I do," I ground out from between clenched teeth. When he just looked at me for a minute I sighed, irritated. "Are you going to order or not?"

"Um," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll have a beer… And whatever you recommend to eat." I wrote down what he ordered and snatched the menu out of his hand, turning on my heel and heading back to the back.

Tina looked up when she saw me stomping in. "Asshole?" she asked. We occasionally got some extremely rude customers and I usually responded like this. Well, responded by doing this and spitting in their food. I wasn't going to spit in Mathias' food though. The bastard would probably like it.

"You could say that," I replied, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator and taking it out. I sighed and started walking back to the main room.

I placed the beer down on the table. "Here you go," I muttered, quickly turning around to head back into the kitchen.

On my rapid fire sprint back to the kitchen (alright I'm exaggerating) I accidentally knocked into the table where Matthew and the little boy who I assumed was Alfred were sitting. They were in a corner across the restaurant from their fathers, but where they could still be seen. When I knocked into the table it caused a drink to tip over and spill all over the paper Matthew had been using to draw on. "Oh no," I whispered to myself.

Matthew looked down at his drawing sadly and then up at me with tears filling his eyes. I crouched down next to the little boy. "Hey, Mattie," I said, forcing a smile onto my face, hoping the little boy would calm down. "I'm really sorry." I pulled the towel out of my apron and started to wipe up the drink.

Matthew sighed. "It's okay," he whispered, his bottom lip quivering.

I sat down at another chair at the table, hoping to stop the boy from crying. "What were you drawing?"

Matthew just started at the ruined paper. The other little boy, who turned out to be pretty loud, spoke up. "He was drawing his mom," Alfred informed me. Matthew could hardly remember his mother, as she had passed away when he was barely a year old. Her name was Jeanne and she was a wonderful woman, from what I had heard. Francis had a picture of her in his office and Matthew used to stare at it, willing himself to remember her.

"Oh," I said, looking at the little boy. "Matthew, why I don't get you another piece of paper?"

The little boy nodded. "Please."

I stood up and walked to the back of the restaurant, looking for paper. I was lucky it was a slow day at the café and Mathias was my only customer at the moment.

I finally found the paper and brought it out to the little boy and handed it to him. He still seemed sad though. "Mattie," I said, trying to think of something to make him happy. "I'm sure, wherever your mom is, that she loves you, okay?" The words sounded awkward coming from my mouth.

The little boy smiled and nodded. He reached his arms out. "Can I have a hug, Miss Kristin?" he whispered, so quietly that I almost missed it. I nodded and I hugged the little boy.

I may not be good with people, but I knew what to do with children.

I stood up and walked back over to Mathias to see that Tina had made her way out and was talking to him. Tina smiled. "I didn't realize Mathias was the asshole you had to deal with," she said.

I smirked at him. "Yeah, well, I wasn't going to ruin your day with the news."

She laughed. "I have to go," she informed our neighbor. "I'll see you later, Mathias."

I saw his beer was empty. "You want another beer?" I asked, motioning to the empty bottle.

He shook his head. "Nah, I have to drive," he said. "Just water." I started to walk away when he spoke again. "You know Kristin," he said. "You're good with kids," he said, nodding at Matthew.

"I should hope so," I said, flat. "I've raised my sister since she was ten, after all."

I turned on my heel after that and went back into the kitchen. Kiku pushed a plate at me. "It's ready," was all he said. I went and grabbed a glass and filled it with water before picking up the plate and taking it out to Mathias.

"Here you go," I said, dropping it off.

"Thanks," he muttered. I waved a hand back at him. I seriously considered flipping him off but I decided against it since I was at work and there were two seven year olds in the room. I didn't fancy unemployment.

I came out later to hand Mathias his check. He paid it and then looked at me. "You know," he said. "It's not fair for me to come bother you at work when you've never come and bothered me." He grabbed my notepad out of my apron, ignoring my protests, and wrote down a name and an address. It was a bar a few streets over owned by a Russian man named Ivan Braginski, his sister Katyusha Braginskaya, and his step-sister Natalya Arlovskaya. There are some interesting rumors floating about involving Ivan and Natalya.

I had never been there but the place was famous for the insane amounts of vodka in their specialty drinks and for the bar fights that broke out often.

Mathias smiled. "Come bother me sometime."

With that Mathias left. Francis came up behind me, his Brit and his Brit's son having left five minutes prior. "He seems nice."

I shook my head. "Not quite."

"He seems to like you, _cher_," Francis said, following me back to the kitchen.

That night I got off work with a text from Emily. They had the next day (which was a Friday) off from school because of teacher inservice. She texted me to say she was going out with some friends. She'd be back by eleven.

I texted her back to say I might not be home yet, and not to wait up for me. I just told her to call me when she got home.

I was going to take Mathias up on his offer to bother him at work. First I had a few things to do. I went home and changed into black jeans and a purple shirt and let my long blonde hair loose. Then I went to the bookstore, picked up a book about magic through history. Don't say anything about it. It interests me. There is nothing wrong with that.

By that time it was 8:30 and perfectly acceptable to head to a bar. I pulled up to the bar and parked across the street. I walked in and sat down at the bar. I looked around to see two other employees standing at the doorway of a back room. One of them had shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes. The other was blonde and wore glasses. They both looked terrified.

I looked down the bar to see Mathias passing someone a beer and I waited for him to notice me. He looked back at me and smiled. He walked over my way. "So, what'll it be?" he asked, leaning toward me.

I sighed. "I'll just start with a beer, thanks," I said.

Mathias reached behind him. "Oh, no frilly girly drinks for you?"

I laughed. Just a little, but I still laughed. "Those things are for lightweights and I'm pretty sure I could drink everyone here under the table."

"Doubt it," Mathias answered, sliding the beer my way. I raised it to my lips and took a drink. I was about to put it down but something about the way Mathias was watching me encouraged me to tip it back again and down the whole thing.

I pushed the bottle toward him. "Give me another, Kohler," I said.

Mathias chuckled before turning around and grabbing me another beer. He slid it towards me as well. He then had to go deal with some other customers. When he came back I had downed my second beer. "Another?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head and smirked. Where this sudden confidence coming from? Oh, the alcohol, right. "I'll take some vodka shots, though."

After the vodka shots I was feeling tipsy and decided to slow it down a bit. That is until ten rolled around. Emily called me and informed me she was home. She asked where I was and I told her not to worry, I was with Mathias. She asked if it was a date. I said hell no. She said she was going to bed. I hung up the phone.

Sometime after that I was somehow roped into a drinking contest. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but it did.

I don't remember much after that. I remember giggling, but that couldn't have been me. I don't giggle. I remember a man in a red shirt and a black vest, which is what Mathias was wearing but it couldn't have been him. I remember getting into a car that wasn't mine.

I woke up with a groan. I was very hungover. I never should have gone to that bar. I opened my eyes and realized I was not in my room. I looked around. The layout was similar to my apartment. I was laying on a bed with black sheets that was pushed up against a wall. Where was I?

I stood up and walked out of the room, thanking the universe that I was fully clothed. I found the answer as to where I was when a certain obnoxious blonde turned around from the spot on his couch where he was watching television. He grinned. "So how are you, Kristin?" Mathias asked.

"Ugh," I responded. I walked into his kitchen, hoping he had Tylenol or something.

"Cabinet above your head," he said. I opened it to see that he knew exactly what I was looking for. I opened the bottle and shook two pills into my hand before looking for cups. I found one, filled it with water, and swallowed the pills.

I walked back into the living room where he was in front of the television. "How much did I have to drink last night?" I asked, rubbing my temples.

"More than I thought it was possible to consume without throwing up," he said with what almost sounded like respect in his tone.

"How did I get here?" I said motioning around.

"Oh," Mathias said, leaning back. "You tried to get in your car and drive home but I didn't want you to kill yourself so I drove you home. Then when we got here I thought you would appreciate it if your little sister didn't see you shitfaced drunk, so I let you sleep here. Don't worry," he said, catching my expression. "I slept on the couch."

I nodded. "Uh, thanks then…" I muttered awkwardly.

"It was no problem," he said with a shrug. He smirked, "You say some interesting things when you're drunk."

I blushed. "Um, I'll be going," I said awkwardly, standing up. "Goodbye, Mathias."

He nodded. "Bye. Oh and hey just call me whenever you wanna go get your car," he said as I walked out the door.

I shut the door carefully, trying not to aggravate my aching head further. I was headed for the stairs when someone called me back. "Kristin?" Berwald asked from where he was standing outside of his door, taking what looked like breakfast for him and Tina back into the house.

I turned to him, eyes wide. "Berwald, this isn't what it looks like."

Berwald just shook his head. "Isn't my business," he muttered, disappearing behind his door.

I groaned. Now Berwald thought I had slept with Mathias. He was going to tell Tina, and then Tina was going to ask me about it. Wonderful.

I walked upstairs and entered the apartment. It was only nine and luckily Emily was asleep. I quickly got in the shower so I could rid myself of the overwhelming smell of alcohol. Then I put on my pajamas, not really planning on going anywhere. I walked out to the living room, lay down on the couch, and settled into a dreamless sleep.

**HEY GUYS! So, I MAY write Kristin drunk from Mathias's point of view and post it. What do you guys think? Do you want it? Yes? No? **


	5. BONUS CHAPTER

** Hey, guys! So I know I'm updating and it's not a Friday… Well that's because this isn't a real chapter. This is the Drunk Kristin chapter I promised. I hope it's not too unbelievable. I wanted to keep some of Kristin's real personality in there but I also wanted to give her a cute, flirty drunk side so this was the result. Please don't hate it. **

**_IN CASE YOU DON'T READ THE OTHER STUFF: THIS IS FROM MATHIAS'S POINT OF VIEW._**

**Enjoy.**

I leaned back away from the brunette I had just served Scotch to to see a familiar face looking at me from down the bar. I smiled. Damn, I couldn't believe Kristin had actually showed up.

I walked over to her. "So, what'll it be?" I asked, leaning forward so that I was closer to her.

Kristin sighed. "I'll just start with a beer, thanks."

I had never really pegged Kristin as a beer drinker. I reached behind me, laughing to myself. "Oh, no frilly girly drinks for you?" I asked, hoping for a response.

Kristin laughed. _Kristin laughed. _It wasn't some loud, obnoxious laugh and it didn't last very long either. It was just a short little laugh that sounded like bells. I smiled even though she couldn't see it. "Those things are for lightweights," she said. "And I'm pretty sure I could drink everyone here under the table."

"Doubt it," I said, sliding the beer to her. She picked it up and took a sip. She started to put it down before she seemed to think better of it and tipped the beer back, drinking it all.

She put it down and pushed the bottle at me. "Give me another, Kohler."

The night slowly progressed this way, her drinking and me giving her more to drink. Granted, it did slow down for a while while she waited for her sister to call her. Around ten, her phone slowly started ringing, no crazy ringtones for Kristin Bondevik.

Kristin picked up her phone and checked her caller id before answering. "Hello," she said. Emily said something back. Kristin saw me watching her, scowled, and turned away. "Don't worry," Kristin said in response to whatever Emily had said. "I'm with Mathias." The next thing Emily said had Kristin turning around to look at me before she turned away. "Hell no." Then Kristin hung up. She turned back to me. "What?" she demanded.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. I was laughing.

I looked up when the door opened and a regular customer of ours named Gilbert who had some weird ass last name walked in. He sat down at the bar. "Hey, Mat," he called at me.

I nodded. "What do you want, Gil?" I asked.

He ordered a beer, and another one, and another one, and another, so on and so forth, until he proclaimed: "I'm so awesome, no one can drink more than me! It's mein awesome German blood."

By this time, Kristin was half drunk, I'm almost positive because she stood up and said, "Oh yeah? Why don't we test your German blood against my Norwegian blood?" I looked at her for a minute. I didn't know Kristin was Norwegian.

Gilbert stood up and walked over to her. "Please," he said, condescendingly. She didn't back down though. Gilbert looked back at me. "Hey, Mathias, set us up some shots."

I sighed. This was not gonna end well for Kristin. I had seen Gilbert down ungodly amounts of alcohol in the time I had worked here. However, I still poured the alcohol and brought the shots out to the table they were sitting at.

I watched, fascinated, as the two of them downed so much alcohol that any normal person would have passed out. And then Gilbert did. Kristin stood up, pointed, and laughed. "_I can out drink your ass any day!" _

Kristin stumbled her way back over to me. "Mathias," she slurred, drunk off her ass. She leaned up against me, her hands gripping my black vest loosely. She giggled. Kristin Bondevik fucking _giggled. _She released me and sat down at the bar stool.

Toris came out of the back and looked up at me. "Mathias, time to close up," he said, and I nodded. Eduard came out and somehow managed to get Gilbert out of the bar.

I went up to Kristin who was somehow very distracted by a piece of string coming off of her shirt. "Hey, Krist," I said. "Time to go."

She nodded and stood up. She made her way to the door and I followed. Then she went to get in her own car when I realized that she was very drunk and should definitely not be driving. "Krist, wait!" I yelled to her, causing her to turn and look at me. "Let me give you a ride home."

Kristin giggled again (seriously, what the hell?) and came over to me. "Okay," she said with a smile that I would call flirty were it coming from anyone else.

She got into the passenger seat of my car and sat down. We had driven down the road a minute when she spoke. "You know Mathias," she said. "For a dick, you're pretty hot."

I scoffed. "You're drunk," was all I said. Kristin would never say anything like that. I'm pretty sure she didn't even think words like 'hot' and things like that.

She shrugged. "So?"

"So you don't mean it," I answered, turning right near our building.

Kristin frowned and shook her head. "I _do_ mean it!" she said. "I think you're really attractive, actually," she slurred, turning to look out the window. "For an asshole."

I laughed. If only. I had had a thing for Kristin since she moved in. She was always so cold and cut off though. She seemed to avoid me too. I tried to ask Tina for advice but all Tina said was that Kristin had been through a lot and I needed to back off.

We pulled up to the building and Kristin got out. We walked in till we got to my door "Can you get in your place?" I asked, looking at her unsure.

She nodded and turned to go up the stairs before she turned to me quickly. Her eyes were wide and she seemed to be having a moment of clarity. "Don't let Emily see me like this."

I sighed. She might beat me for this in the morning. "You can stay at my place."

Kristin threw her arms around me and hugged me before realizing what she did and releasing me. Weirdest fucking night ever. "Thank you," she said, walking into my apartment.

I pointed to the back room. "You can have my bed."

She turned to me and looked at me with her brow furrowed. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

"The couch," I responded, jerking my head back to the furniture.

Kristin shook her head. "You can sleep in the bed with me," she said. Then she got the look I was giving her. "Oh, no no no," she said. "Not like _sex_," she laughed. "I'm not ready to get that close with anyone after my ex," she said, shaking her head. "But like sleeping."

I laughed, seriously considering it. But I decided no. Even if Kristin said this now she would assume there had been sex and wouldn't talk to me after this. "That's okay," I said. "The couch is fine."

She sighed. "Alright," she said, turning to go. She turned around and smiled at me. "Goodnight, Mathias."

"Goodnight, Kristin."


	6. Chapter 5

**I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T PUT UP THE NEW CHAPTER. It's just that I spent time writing the bonus chapter (which kind of sucked. I apologize.) and then I lost all motivation and inspiration. Extreme writer's block. Well… Better late than never. Seriously though, sorry bros. **

** I'm sorry if this chapter is a little OOC but I really wanted kissing and I wanted it sweet. **

** Also I'm debating putting a lemon in this later, but I've never really written one before so I'm kinda worried it would suck. **

** NOW WHAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. KISSING. **

I woke up around five that evening. Emily was watching television. She looked over at me. "You okay? You slept all day."

I nodded. "I'm fine…"

"Hey, Kristin," she said, looking at me. "Some of my friends are going to a new Chinese restaurant across town, and I was wondering if you could drop me off?" Emily had a driver's license, but we only had one car.

"Yeah," I said, before remembering my car was still parked at a bar. "Um, actually," I said. "My car is not here right now." Emily cocked her head questioningly. "Does Leon have a car?" Emily nodded. "Can you ask him?" She smiled and picked up her phone.

I stood up. "Be home by ten," I said. "I will be here, but I have to go out right now." Emily just nodded.

I grabbed my small purse and walked out of the apartment. I went down the stairs and knocked on Mathias' door. I considered asking Tina, but I wanted to avoid the 'why did you leave Mathias's apartment early in the morning wearing the same clothes you did before?' conversation for as long as I could. Also, Mathias is the only one who knew about how completely wasted I was the night before.

He answered it while pulling a shirt on. What kind of idiot comes to the door without a shirt on? I tried not to look, I really did. However, I did get a brief glance of his abs. And boy did he have abs. I looked up once the black fabric of his t-shirt was pulled down.

He was smirking. "Tell me, Krist, do you think I'm hot?" he asked in that annoying, cocky voice of his that made me want to strangle him.

"Fuck no," I said, glaring. _But hell yes._

He laughed. "So what can I do for you, Miss Bondevik?" he asked, leaning against his doorframe.

I sighed. "Can you take me to get my car?"

He smiled. "Yeah, sure," he said. "Let me get my keys." He turned around, leaving the door wide open, and walked over to his table to grab his car keys. He sauntered over to me and shut the door behind him. He offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

I rolled my eyes and walked ahead of him. Idiot. I walked up to his car and waited for him to unlock it before I climbed into it.

He got in and started it. Almost the whole ride to the bar was spent in a semi-awkward silence, as I didn't want to talk to him but he probably wanted to talk to me.

When we pulled up I saw my car parked right where I had left it. I was going to get out, thank Mathias, and leave. However, that's not what happened.

I leaned over to undo my seatbelt the same time that Mathias turned to speak to me. I looked up. Our faces were inches apart from each other. I looked up into his blue eyes, unable or unwilling to move away, and bit my lip.

I'm not sure who initiated the kiss, but before I knew it Mathias's warm lips were pressed against mine. And I was kissing him back. I lifted my arms from where they were at my side and placed them around his neck.

It was magic, quite honestly. The feel of my lips reacting to his as we were trapped together in one blissful moment. It was the best kiss I had ever had. Two people who had one shared moment of something that makes this shit we call life worth it.

It didn't click for me what we were doing until he put one of his hands on my waist. I pulled back with a gasp. "M-Mathias," I said. Oh god, why was I stuttering? "W-we can't do this."

"Why not?" he asked, sitting back against his seat. He seemed and sounded slightly hurt.

"We just can't! Dammit!" I said. I had sworn to myself I wasn't getting involved with men anytime soon. Especially Mathias Kohler. And here I was, making out with him in his car like some hormonal teenager who might get caught if we were anywhere else. "You don't even know me."

He sat back. "Yes, I do," he said, sounding more serious than I had probably ever heard him. I looked up at him. He looked mad. "You're name is Kristin Bondevik. You work in a café. You have a little sister named Emily Steillson who you have been raising since she was ten. Your parents died in a car accident. You're Norwegian," he said. How did he know I was Norwegian? "You went through a break-up recently." How did he know about _that_?

As a reaction, I turned to anger. "Oh yeah? Did you know that the man I called my father wasn't my father at all? He was Emily's father. My mother got pregnant with me in high school and my father wanted nothing to do with us. That's why my last name is Bondevik. It's my mother's maiden name. She married Christopher Steillson when I was six."

And all of sudden, it was like a dam broke. I couldn't shut up. "And did you know that when I was eighteen and had just barely graduated high school I received a call telling me that my parents were _dead_ and that if I didn't come down to the station and take guardianship of my sister she would go into the system? Did you know that I dated a horrible man for two years who called me a bitch all the time and…" And that's when I caught myself. I didn't even mean to get this far. Mathias just somehow made me so mad that I spilled everything to him.

I felt a hand on my cheek and looked up to see him wiping at my cheek. I reached up and touched the other one. Damn. I was crying. "And what?" he asked quietly. I shook my head. "Kristin, tell me," he whispered.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Did I trust Mathias enough? I shook my head. No, he would pity me just like anyone else who knew and the last thing I wanted from this man was his pity.

"Kristin, what did he do to you?" I heard Mathias ask. "Did he hit you?"

I thought about it, and decided I couldn't really avoid this one. I could just let him think that it went this far though. "He did."

Mathias growled. Well, that's what it sounded like. "Sick bastard," he ground out. I looked up at him. "Anything else?"

I looked away from him. "No."

"You're lying." How the _hell_ did he know I was lying? "Kristin, please tell me," he said, leaning towards me. "You can trust me."

"He… Forced himself on me," I said, not having any idea why I was actually telling him. I felt Mathias freeze up. Oh, God. Here it comes. The disgust, the pity, the underlying need to stay away from someone who had been victimized in that way for fear of breaking them.

"Kristin," he said. I looked up at him. "I'm not him." He reached over cautiously, and took my hand. I let him. "I wouldn't do that to you."

Part of me wanted to yank my hand back, slap him, and drive away… But a larger part of me loved the feel of his hand holding mine, and the chance of what sounded like a good relationship. "No pity?" I mused. "How strange."

"I hate pity," he said simply with a dark undertone to his voice that made me wonder what Mathias Kohler had been through. I raised an eyebrow. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, I was sixteen and I had just gotten my license. I begged my mom to let me drive home. A drunk driver ran a red light and collided with the passenger side. I wake up three days later in the hospital, and Mom is dead. I don't think my dad ever forgave me. We haven't talked in six years."

He was looking down and he looked so sad. In that moment I think I understood him more than I had ever understood another person. "Mathias," I whispered.

He turned to look at me and I kissed him before he had a chance to speak. This kiss was gentler than the previous one with understanding in it, but an underlying hunger. I reached out and touched his face and I felt him put his hands on my waist.

Mathias leaned closer to me, deepening the kiss. His tongue licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I allowed it. Normally I would never have kissed a man like this, but with Mathias it was so natural that it seemed amazing that I hadn't been kissing him like this since we met.

His tongue slipped into my mouth and for a moment I forgot everything. All that existed in that moment was Mathias, myself, and the sound of the rain starting to fall on the car. I made a move to get closer to him when my leg hit the steering wheel. I pulled back from the kiss and laughed a little.

"I should go," I said, collecting my purse. Mathias looked dazed. "Thank you though," I said. For whatever reason, I was feeling slightly flirty so I leaned over and kissed his cheek before getting out of the car.

As I walked over to my car I heard him call my name. "Yes?" I responded.

"I'm going to take you to dinner," he said. It was a statement but it still allowed for me to decline the date if I so wanted.

I smirked. "You better."


End file.
